She had never noticed how wide the world was before. After years of looking at it from this exact spot, its size still took her by surprise. It was beautiful though, beautiful, alive, and full of color. The swirls of greens and blues and whites on its surface reminded her of finger painting with her daughter.
She missed her.
She wondered how she was doing down there. She was so small when the mission started some 3 years ago, but now at this moment, she seemed even smaller. Just a speck on a quiet blue planet, a planet that was just a speck in an even quieter universe.
She is so small, she thought to herself.
Mortality was something she never took the time to concern herself with. She was educated, passionate, and committed to the cause, making her the ideal candidate for the job. Her complacency toward death was an additional benefit for the agency that hired her. They never guaranteed she’d come back to the world alive, only that if she didn’t complete the job, there’d be no world to come back to.
This caused more and more fear as the days went on. She spent her days anxiously waiting for something to happen, with no real certainty of when it would actually take place. She felt lonely, and useless, wasting the best years of her daughter’s life to sit in a tin can waiting.
Still, her fear increased every day.
She wasn’t afraid for herself because truthfully she never cared so much for self preservation, but she did want to live. Not for her sake, only for her little girl. She wanted her to have a mommy. She wanted that desperately, but even more than that she wanted her to have a big wide world to be small on.
She’s small down there, she thought, so small.